Well..

I'm not in the blogging mood, but lately my thoughts have been so scattered that I can't keep a firm grip on reality. I have so much to do, it gets to the point where I don't know what's due a certain day, but I know that it's due. So far, this is a summar of what's going on:

• History project is due Friday:

Glitter

Glue

Project design

3 catagorey poster-board

Marker

Different colored paper w/ printed information. Or plain paper with different colors.

• English paper due Monday:

Header/footer

Word count

Citation

• PSAT on Saturday morning by eight am.
• Test on the American Revolution itself on Oct. 19th

Just so much shit, omg.

Oh, and I need to order a new credit card.. And E-mail that Killeen counselor.. And try and re-arrange this court date for the sake of mom's fucking bills. What the fuck ever. You know she slept all day yesterday?

She couldn't even give me the fucking information to order a new credit card. I can't wait to fucking leave here. I just can't fucking wait.

History Projects Are Nothing But Excuses.

Welcome to the Jungle, my friend.



Lately this darkness inside of me is beginning to spread. I can feel it in my tendons, with the twitch of a muscle. I can feel it when I get angry, I can feel it when myold habits go into play. I can feel it when I hold a drink in my hand. It's so difficult breaking a habit, it's hard to not just do whatever I want, and it makes me angry.



But it's my anchor. With this grip on reality I can feel that its controlled. But I feel like it's a matter of time, I feel like my darkness is going to blow up and it's going to cause me, the me that she needs, to just go into a shaking frenzy and then...

Lose everyone.

See ya, nig.

- Rage

R-r-r-r-age.

"I can't tell you what it is, I can only tell you what it feels like ..."

That is by far the greatest line that I've ever encountered. For some reason, money is constantly flowing in and out of her wallet, it's ridiculous. Spent eighty, received forty and then we spent 14 so she has something to pig out to next time she's PMSing.

You think I'm kidding. It's deadly for all of us...

Anyway, no child's play this week. I'll only be able to keep in touch with a few amount of people and an updated status or two. I rocked my psychology project this week, it was fucking great. I had them all by their damn throats, and I just wanted them to know that it's not all fucking butterflies out there in the real world.

Maybe it isn't the real world, maybe it's only the dark side of the world. To bad it's everywhere.

So far, I still have to do:

1. The outline of my Hedda Gabler essay (Was she a victim because of her societies standards and is that why she was looked down upon?) I'll have to research some example of a thematic essay, I'll have to use the term, "slaving" loosely in this situation.
2. An outline of the Dobe/San essay and its chapters.
3. Find quotes for Victorian Era proof in Hedda Gabler for the subject.

Speaking of the above, my partner wasn't here the day that I switched topics.

Hello Rage, welcome to the world of reality. Let me show you around

Yes, please do.

Shots - LMFAO.

It's a good song, it'll be explaining what I'll be doing in two weeks, ha! Maybe not all of it.

I cleaned my room, updated some of my Facebook, and finally said goodbye to my social life of the weekend. I'm pretty sure this weekend is Homecoming, which means that me and Tiffani will be partying it up that weekend after it. I'm excited, because it's time to let loose. So my goals this week are:

1. Start pushing myself physically during the gym to get in preparation for Snowboarding (which means I might be going twice a day instead of once, just because of time issues :c)
2. Try and make it so I finish everything I was supposed to accomplish not only this weekend but next weekend because I know that as soon as Homecoming comes, I'm not doin' SHIT.
3. Try and go to work all of this week.

Wish me luck!

You've contacted Rage.

I woke up this morning in a cold sweat, the nightmares tugging at the back of my mind. It was like we were all involved, or atleast me and Raven. My body was aching, old wounds becoming more noticeable. A stab to the neck, a slice at a shoulderblade, a chunk out of my calf. I don't let her see the scars, but I don't understand why I'm so embarrased of them.

It was war, it was violent. It was constant yelling, and I couldn't find her.
Her.
Don't ask me who she is because I won't tell you.
Don't ask me why, because I won't tell you that, either.
You'll just know her as.. Her.

I woke up, I couldn't see anything. My eyes, they were black to represent the outside of the in. It happens sometimes, when he set off the bomb it shook me the hardest, sending me off my stability.. It's hard getting it back. But then I felt her. Her hands, her body and I guess I realized I never wanted to be without her. What a way to jump the gun, but.. Eh.

Raven found him, and it was so real for her that when we awoke she was crying. Maybe not physically but you know how you cry on the inside? That's how it was, we could all feel it. I wonder if it was really a dream.

I wonder if we were just helping him out.
I wonder if it was just meant for her and I got dragged in on the way.

I wonder.