I could never..

Imagine myself being resenting something like school. The more the days loom, the more prepared I feel, but the less I want to go. How odd is that?

But while I was camping, I noticed everyone around me, I noticed that they weren't just people. They weren't just someone behind you, with brown hair, brown eyes, or anything like that. They had lives, secrets, tragedies, accomplishments, everything that I had. It was a weird sensation to realize how connected we actually are to each other, how we have a chance of being related to them, or a chance of meeting them again because in the end, USA is a small world when it comes to amusement parks.

I also wondered what it would be like to be in someone elses eyes, to see myself walking, to wonder what I would be thinking, to see my expressions, to see if I look how I feel. Or to see what others see in me, to see what I am to other people besides my personal dialouge. It was such a fascinating experience to look at a stranger and say, " They could be the best person in my life, or they could be the worst." and just leave it at that. No questions, no statements, nothing.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone has a life story, everyone has a tear jerking one, too. And that we're just another name on the VIP list, we're just another human being trying to make it in this world, and last of all, we're all trying to find out who we are, and we aren't, then we're trying to find out how to get through this life. But it's how you accept it does it make you different, make you the bolded name on the expanding list of people. It's how you make your life the best you can, affecting not only your life but others; be the life changer, my friend.

Getting a Little Personal

I see that you've enjoyed seeing my 3+ blog names of, " Out of Note" but what can I say? I like that, it might be some cool catch phrase in the beginning. I haven't had any realizations in a long time until about .5 seconds ago, when waiting really is the best thing to do in a serious situation.

Due to my heart being worn on my sleeve I have yet again fallen head over heels for someone. It's great, we go on dates, cuddle, and I can be myself. But why is being yourself that hard? Who in fact are we trying to impress, if not ourselves? Why should we better ourselves for others but not for us? Why do we make promises to people but not to ourselves, and if we do, why is it suddenly not -that- important if we don't go to the Gym three times a week?

I enjoy this new boy of mine, I shall try to get a picture of him when I can, of us together. I won't go all into personal details, just that he helped me with a lot about myself, including letting the sun shine in through the blinds and actually getting out of the house. I also have another thought pondering question; is it better for you to be one of the guys or strictly girl when it comes to boyfriends and their friends? I honestly find it a compliment that Joe has invited me to play CoD with his friends. Hint: I didn't storm off when I was the one getting killed all the time. ( In fact, I was cursing like a mad woman and almost hitting people, is that worse?) and everyone laughed, everyone had a good time, and they didn't have to "pretend" to be bad just to make me feel good. I like that, and Joe complimented me by telling me how perfectly I fitted in.

But there goes that "fitting in" thing again. I find that even the most different of people fit in somewhere, even if you suck at a game, or excel better than anyone else. My point of the day? You're not alone on anything, considering of scientific and sentimental fact. There will always be something you're different at, something you're striving towards only for other people, and you'll always fit in SOMEWHERE. Even when it's nowhere.

-Because it is.

Out of Note!

When the world spins, we spin with it too, and that's how it's always going to be. There is never going to be a moment where the world will stop just for you, or for me, or for us. It's fighting a current which we can't control, a hunger in our stomach which we can't fill, and thirst we can't quench. If you ask me, I rather go out there and swim with it, see some fish that I would call human, and see the beauty of it all.

-Because it is.

Octo-Mom by US WEEKLY

What the hell is this shit, dude? Did anyone else read this article? She's probably the most amazing and yet selfish woman I've ever met. She's a great mother, considering she's putting them first, but she's also selfish because she basically went behind her doners back and took all six sperm eggs at once instead of two or three at a time. Can we say.. facepalm?

Now you have to see this woman's schedule. She's up from six a.m to past twelve a.m doing things for her kids. Lunch takes two hours because of interruptions, and she has so many to-do and check lists it's like, "What the heck." She actually has a map of her house, and two nannies! This woman is just.. Spiffy.

The one thing that I feel most pity about is how she can't leave her house because people swarm. But that's the thing I'm here posting about; is it worth it to keep your kids so sheltered? Because when they grow up, they might have problems communicating with other children or people because they've just been in this protective bubble. Those kids will want to break free, they will want to be independent, and she's not thinking that far ahead. She's not going to protect them from the world forever.

She actually claimed that the only reason why she went public with this was because of money expenses. I find that very interesting, considering why I think she's quite intelligent. Use the public to it's advantage, right? I like that, seems like she doesn't mind going to the sharks for the money. Maybe they'll teach people not to have eight or more kids! Not unless you have stability of course.

-Because it is.

Out of Note

When you least expect it; people change. They change their style, their hair, their mood, their love. It's all human nature, and it's part of finding out who you are and becoming what makes us fit for survival. We change in order to make ourselves happy, or make other people happy.

I don't know the logic behind it, but last night my friend Ivan came out of his awkward shell. At Bella he did almost shameful things that I just wanted to turn away. When he went up to play Piano, a lot of people gave me this look of, " I'm so sorry." But for what?

I realized that people change every single day. When it's tucking away pride and cheering your friend on, or when it's ducking your head because it's humiliation. We all go through it, we all break out of our shell one day, even when it's baby steps. When you see a woman buying tampons for the first time, when you see someone going to tutoring after realizing they need help, it all meshes together some how.

Break out of your shell, do something you never thought you would; it's worth it, my friend.

-Because it is.

Out of Note

Sorry I haven't been ranting lately, but hey! It's my blog! So I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I posted my thoughts here and there; but don't worry, I'll be posting things about Octo-Mom sometime this weeked. Today is a cloudy day, and usually cloudy days make me all bright and cheery, it's a very interesting concept.

But today, it isn't like that. I had a really rough sleep; and I'm wondering why I'm having all of this bad luck lately. I didn't really think about until just now, and how this past week has been pretty fuckin' hectic. But hey, keep your chin up. All I know is that tonight Ivan and I are going to Bella, tonight. And I wanted to get a picture of us being goofy, but it seems my photobucket is failing. :(

But going on the brightside, all of these things aren't bringing me down. Even now I feel light and happy, even if the room is almost pitch black. I'm excited for tonight, and yet nervous. I'm bringing Ivan to Bella tonight, but I'm worried Tad is going to be there. If you haven't followed my blog before, they're both in love with me and want to kill each other.

Men and their damn hormones! Haha, but no. I won't let this post get that far into drama like last time. I should've been slapped, huh?

I want to put something inspiring in here, and I want it to be like last time where it's nothing but happiness! And in a way, it is. I guess it's showing the reader that it's ok to be down; but only for a moment. :)

I'll blog later, guys. Thanks for reading.

Out of Note

Did you ever one of those days where you just wanted to stay in the sun all day? And that today would be the day you opened all of your curtains and you let the sun shine in? I'm having one of those days, I'm enjoying this feeling of being re born.

I had always wanted to wake up near the ocean, have you? I always wanted to wake up in a field in the morning sun, basking on my face. It's just one of those dreams that you have. I had always wanted to go to Washington D.C so I could go to the famous library. I'm pretty sure it's the Library of Congress.

It's such a large library, could you imagine yourself getting lost there? I know a lot of people have the wish about something much more exciting, but not for me! For me it's the peace and quiet, the nature of things. I'm torn between loving the city, or loving the country for the lack of pollution. But perhaps the night life of the city is just as beautiful as the country itself?

But really, who can replace those stars?

- Because it is.

"The Other Woman" by US WEEKLY

The first thing I have to say about this is that Jessica Simpson brought this on herself. In this article, it's talking about about the split and basically the entire update of this woman's "tragic" life. I honestly, feel no pity. I read a book by Marie Forleo called, " Make Every Man Want You." I enjoy this book, even if I didn't read it fully. And one of my most favorite topics is the topic of, "Unattractive Habits." In these habits, the FIRST one it says is, "Neediness- the Ultimate Man Repellent" and gives almost gives seven bullets under it! I'm pretty sure we all fall under at least one, including miss Jessica.

Another unattractive habit it talks about is the "Clueless Communicator." And under that habit also another thing that Jessica mentioned to Tony only a year and a half later.. Any guesses yet? If you're thinking about marriage and kids, you're absolutely right. And then we have another unattractive habit that's called, "Sloppy and Unkempt Appearance." Am I the only one noticing this pattern? It's not the only issue that Jessica had. Through out the article it was talking about another bad habit of neediness, a different version. Not only did she revolve her entire world around Tony, she made sure he was her world. Although she was being supportive through his games, she was also revolving almost everything she was ever successful at around him.

For example, in this article it mentioned how Jessica would have to reschedule shoots for her new show because it was originally focused on Tony's football and game schedule. It was her show! I know that Jessica is insecure, but in every good relationship, it's like she's expecting that person to be the one and acts like they're already married. Now don't get me wrong, what she was doing was good in some areas; she was supportive, she was sweet, but sometimes even those things have a limit. And then my favorite thing in this article is probably the small quote in the top left corner, "Months before Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson, he was already sending flirty texts to a 22-year-old-look-alike behind her back."

How great is that!? Not only was she replaced in a heartbeat, it was a rub in on how much of something she wasn't.Honestly, I don't think Romo was the victim in this, either. In this article it states that he would never defend her on the accusations of her weight and style. In fact, he even continued it and said, " Well you are a little pudgy." Jessica should've slapped him and commented on how bad his sex was! That is, of course, if it was bad at all. Tony was not onlyunsupportive, but I'm sure he was raunchy behind her back more times than this tabloid mentions. This relationship was just a fuck up in general, and Jessica should've never been so devoted to him and should've kept her image and confidence strong, even if it was a bluff. Not only would Tony have been still interested, things wouldn't haven ended like it was.

The last thing I have to comment about this relationship, is the dependency. I know it's great to be independent, and then sometimes show the truth to keep things going, Jessica was on his arm like a cheerleader wanting.. Well. I don't have anything cool for that. But seriously, Jessica shouldn't have been so clingy to him in a way where she was suffocating. It was probably the real deal for her, but she shouldn't have done the following above this paragraph to show her appreciation.

- Because it is.

So I've actually decided..

That I'm going to start blogging again, but not about my personal life you see. It's not that drama filled as it used to be ( thankgod for that). But while I was travelling back from my fathers, I was reading this article in US WEEKLY and all I could think about were paragraphs and paragraphs of opinons on almost everything I was reading...

And then it happened. Then I had this epiphany that if I wasn't going to write about my drama that I would write about other people's drama! Of course giving my opinion and blah blah blah. Although I wish I could make a funny, nationwide statement about Britney Spears like Chris Crocker did, I'm afraid I can't be that.. How do I say.. Enthusiastic about it.

But in fact I will make seperate posts about each article so they're not so long where your scroll bar is about a centimeter thick. With my school schedule I'll try my best to keep it updated, but don't be so angry with me if I don't. D:

See you guys soon!