Finally, a slow day.

I don't know what I'll be really sporting my thoughts about today. I believe that today has been not only a slow day, but a lonely one. With things being in such a rush, with exams and SOL's and a lot of planning and wishing, there are a lot of things that I sort of wish time could slow down so I can do. There's so much I want to do this year, but with school constantly draining me from my energy, it's been really disappointing. My family is already planning Summer Vacation, and two weeks from school is just not enough time.

I wish that I could be alone. What I really want to do is drive with unlimited amounts of money and gas, and be on the one of those road where it stretches out so long that you can see the city of the Horizon and it's just that. No other cars, no buildings, just you and long, long highway. There is something about having that summer evening air blow into your car, and you have whatever music you're blaring giving you company. I guess that's what I truly want sometimes, and the thought of becoming a Kindergarten teacher is beginning to really interest me. But I do still want to get my doctorate, so we'll see. Maybe I'll do both, who knows.

Maybe I'll buy myself a house near a super large lake, or the ocean, the kind where you're on the cliff side of one and that it's just so beautiful. I don't know if I would be in the ocean a lot, I think I would mainly be on the beach. I want to do that, but being alone on a beach would make me sad and lonely, wouldn't it? Where you're there by yourself and there's no one to watch it with you. I don't know what lessons or epiphany I had today, besides the fact that sometimes people never know what they want, maybe for small things and what to do tomorrow, but not even I know what I'll want when it comes to my thoughts. I also can't decide why I'm not into guitar as much as I should be.

What does it mean to you?

Tonight my friend and I were talking, and he asked me about my definition of adoration:

Adoration is something very rare, one of those small sweet things that you hear when someone is whispering it into your ear. It is something not lustful, and maybe not even romantic, and it's an entire catagorey itself. Adorable is different, it's a branch off of cute. But adoring someone is so much deeper than cute, so much deeper than beautiful, and on the otherside of the spectrum when it comes with lust.

So tell me, dear friends.. What does it mean to you? And have you ever experienced adoration?

Just a quick update.

Well hello! You know I never do actually give quick updates, they always seem to trail off into real things, sometimes. Anyway, I have ten minutes to make this blog post, so I'll type faster than Speedy Gonzales can run! Let's update a few things:

• I now, for some reason, have a formspring. I'm probably going to move some stuff around on my layout, and I'm contemplating getting a...
• Twitter. Yes, a Twitter! But I don't know if anyone would follow me, so I guess you can leave it in the comments if I should or not. ( Even though only two people comment, haha. I don't get random page views for nothing! Comment, dudes!)
• I made a to-do-list today, it was quite interesting since I now have goals for 2010.
• I have a math test tomorrow, and all of next week I'll be in Geometry tutoring for the state tests. Apparently, the scores do count.
• Me and John are talking about starting a Vlog, and I'll talk to John about having you join too, Lissa. I know how much you would like to Vlog, but just have no one to Vlog with.
• I'm almost sheepishly hoping that I get popular via web. Wouldn't that be so cool? I guess advertising my blog on PSC would be a good idea too, h-uh? We'll see.

Well, I'm off to my dentist appointment. Apparently we'll be getting my spacers in today. I don't care about that, I just want my rainbow colored bands, dammit!

"Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it."
-- David Sedaris

Smile, you're dying.

As I make plans to try and put comments and replies in return for my fellow blogging friends, I have yet to really get a clear head on things. Last night it was an ordinary night for a lot of people, Saturday night usually has two types of people: partiers, and homiers. I'm sure with simple context clues and critical thinking, you'll get them.

Last night I was again, a homier. But there is nothing wrong this, and why do you ask? Because a friend drunk dialed me and proved my point. He, on the other hand, is very skilled at not being a jerk or obnoxious while drinking. So we had a good conversation, and I didn't go to bed until 3. I woke up twice, once around eleven, and then around one. I regret this, but only because I couldn't spend all of my morning and then the rest of the day playing Harvest Moon.

I suggest you play it, though. It's quite addicting, and if you like the Sims, you know damn well that you're going to like Harvest Moon. Right, I usually have a small life lesson for these things, so I'll just put one up and then let you feast off of it and put in your comments.

This morning I woke up and I wanted to smile. There is something about smiling that I can't really seem to break, it has so many powers to do so many things, like healing and making it all better. But then it could be so wicked, so devilish, and then again.. so heartbreak. But it's a smile, and like all smiles, it's another way of putting on either a mask, or a new face. So smile, you're dying.

Note: ZaZa, it's okay! I like it when people follow my blog. :)

New year, new slate?

I have never been in a epiphany mood before until now. I suppose as we all grow older, we seem to realize that the best we can do about New Year Resolutions is that we will actually follow them. We place these goals that we never get to, and if we do, we have nothing else to work for after that. So why not every day be a New Years Day? Why not have a simpler resolution? And that my friend, is my epiphany.

Instead of making the goal to lose weight, or to get back into drawing, or to get closer to people, I've realized that the only thing that I know that I will accomplish is by living for tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow, not today. Because today is always the result of tomorrow's plans. I guess you could say we should've known this all along, and that we should've sat down and actually thought about ours. But as I grow older, I realize that all of my resoultions were always about someone else, and never about me.

So this year, it's about me. And it's enhancing who I am and making sure I grow from all of the experiences that fate has thrown me. I enjoy this resolution plan namely because that's what I've been doing all along, and I can do it, and the best part? It's a never ending goal. There is always something that can be changed, and it's a personal growth experience. As I sit her on a Saturday night, dreading to go back to school, I realize that I miss my friends.

.. And that I will definitely give them the postcards when I see them... besides the friends who live out of state. I should really go do that, h-uh?